Shocking and Controversial Mom Stories That Divided the Internet—Where Do You Stand?

Vote up the stories that made you side with the original poster.
Mom may know best, but sooner or later, everyone comes to the realization that mothers are just people too. They make mistakes. They get tired. They lose their patience. It can be difficult seeing our parents as real humans and not superheroes, but it’s a part of life.

As much as we love our moms, it’d be silly to pretend that those relationships can’t be a bit tricky. Even when they mean well, moms can be overbearing, nosy, and controlling. Often times, it comes from a good place. They just want their kids to be happy, successful and healthy. That’s not always the case though. In some families, those relationships can be incredibly toxic. Even if it doesn’t get as bad as something like Mommy Dead and Dearest, some mothers need to be kept at a distance.

What would you do if your mom started charging you rent? What if they started spreading your deepest secrets without your consent? These are the kinds of issues people are sharing on the AmITheA**Hole subreddit, and they need your help deciding if they’re justified in their frustration, or if they’d probably be better off apologizing to mom.

Stories have been edited for length and clarity.

1
AITA For Telling My Mom I Can’t Trust Her?
From Redditor u/Square-Review4637:

Earlier today I(21f) had an argument with my mom which led to me telling her I couldn’t trust her, which she called rude and an overreaction.

For years, my mom has had this bad habit of secretly donating our clothes without telling us. Sometimes it was stuff she thought was too small for us, but most of the time it was just clothes she didn’t like or didn’t want us to wear anymore.

For example, I really like professional wrestling and have received many t shirts of my favorite wrestlers as gifts over the years, yet the only one I still have is from this past November. My mom doesn’t understand why I like wrestling, probably because I’m a girl, and even when I’ve tried to ask where my merch has gone she’s always shooed me off.

The donation bag would always be in her closet, so if I noticed I was missing an item of clothing odds are it would be in the donation bag. Since as early as middle school, when I started noticing that she would take my clothes, I always asked her to please check with me before donating any of my clothes.

Of course she didn’t, and continued picking things out of the laundry or even go so far as going into my drawers and closet to take things. A few months ago I found a really nice dress of mine that I bought in the donation bag and I blew up, screaming and begging her to ask me anytime she would donate clothes. This seemed to get to her, as she stopped taking things until earlier today.

In the car with her today I looked in the backseat and noticed the donation bag, but peeking out was the arm of a sweater I had literally bought last week. I grabbed the bag and noticed my last remaining wrestling t shirt, about 5 pairs of my socks, and even some bowls and plates I had bought for my apartment next year.

We began arguing, with her not giving me a clear reason why those were in the donation bag, and I told her that because she went back on her word I couldn’t trust her anymore. I think it was a valid reaction, but she disagrees. Thoughts?

AITA For Kicking Out My Mom’s Boyfriend?
From Redditor u/NotWillingToShare:

When I was 17 my mom came into money. She tried to keep it quiet but she paid off my dad’s debts, bought him a small house, paid off her debts and paid for my sister’s college and set up funds for mine. She had a boyfriend at the time and shortly after him and his son who was 7 moved into our new house.

Over the next few years mom bought my sister a house after she graduated college. Her boyfriend lived with us and didn’t pay anything but he did work.

When I was 21 mom got diagnosed with cancer. It wasn’t good. She sat me and my sister down and went over exactly how much money there was. She intended to give her current house to me and both me and my sister were left with a large sum at the end of it. She asked if I would allow her boyfriend to stay in the house with his son until he got his own place. I agreed.

Before she died she told her boyfriend he would need to look for his own place but had time to save more for that journey.

For the last 4 years he has continued to reside in the house with his son. I haven’t minded because we get along okay. I pay all the bills but he does buy food for him and his kid.

He has dated off and on and mostly kept the women out of this house which I respected him for. Until his current partner. She’s been in my house 3 times and at first besides feeling a little uncomfortable I was okay with her. The last time this past weekend was the point where I lost my s**t.

I was making myself some lunch when she came walking downstairs. She grabbed a plate and went to grab food out of my pan. I asked her what she thought was doing. She started telling me how I should look for somewhere else to live and leeching off my dead mom’s past relationship as an adult was pathetic.

I hollered for my mom’s old boyfriend he came down and I told him I didn’t know what he currently thought but I wasn’t going to be disrespected in my house. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes as he mumbled something about my mom promising him the house and he was just “being kind” letting me stay.

First that isn’t remotely true. Mom pulled him and i together after she asked if he could stay to set expectations. My mom met him shortly before she won the money and told him and us girls that she had no intention of leaving him money. She did set aside a fund for his son for college when he gets there but he cannot touch it, only his son can. He has lived in this house almost 8 years without paying a dime he should have plenty of money and if he doesn’t that’s on him.

I told him he had 30 days to leave. I wasn’t going to house someone who would lie and disrespect me in my house. He left that night with his son but his ex wife called to tell me I am cruel and an AH for her son losing his house (he is here every other week).

I really feel like my mom didn’t expect him to still be here but my sister said she feels like I am breaking my promise to my mom and that made me feel like maybe I am the AH.

AITA For Reminding My Mom That She Disappeared For Six Years?
From Redditor u/Forskaten-Year-7175:

My(18) mom and dad divorced six years ago. Her new husband didn’t want her to see my dad and so she let my dad have custody of me and didn’t exercise visitation.

She contacted us last month, saying she had divorced him and would like to reconnect. Dad told me it’s up to me so I said ‘Why not?’ Things have been kind of awkward between us. Obviously I’ve changed a lot since last time she saw me.

When she came over yesterday, I was reading An Offer from a Gentleman. My mom said ‘You’re too young to be reading these toxic romance books.’ I just stared at her and said ‘I was 12 when you disappeared six years ago. I’m 18 now.’

She spluttered for a moment and then told me there is no need to use that word, that she made a mistake and there is no reason to throw it in her face.

AITA For Telling My Mom Not To Babysit Anymore When My Husband Changed His Mind?
From Redditor u/[deleted]:

My husband is a lawyer and I’m an engineer. We both have intense careers but he wanted a second child. I was happy with our daughter but he really wanted another child. We now have 2 daughters aged (3 and 1) and I came back from maternity leave and my mom took over full time caring for them. We both work full time so she takes them when we work. My mom is a nurse but quit to look after our kids. I insisted we should pay her the going rate for daycares in the area which is around $1500 a child. So we pay $3000 for her to care for our children, cook for them etc. She will also pick them up sometimes as we may need to be in the office early.

My husband complained a lot about how expensive it was to pay her. He makes $140k and I make $110k so we can afford to pay her. But he thinks we are overpaying her and complained about it to her face. My mom is not very confrontational but she got very upset. I argued with him on this for months until I decided it was better for her to go back to work and for us to use daycare. Finding a daycare was hard and now we pay $1800 a child for daycare and daycares obviously will not pickup your children nor will they cook for them. We have less time now and at a higher cost for our children to be sick a lot during the winter season. So far this year we have been sick as an entire household 3 times. I was on a business trip and my husband was late picking up our children which resulted in a $75 late charge which my mom would have not charged extra for. My husband is now demanding that my mom leave her job to go back to babysitting our children but I won’t let her because he did no research into the real cost of childcare and kept complaining how expensive it is even when I showed him.

My mom even part time makes $4300 a month as a nurse and I told my husband if we want her doing the child care we need to pay her that amount. Remember we already pay $3600 for daycare. He wants her to go back to the $3000 charge and is angry and claims my mom is asking for too much for such a simple job and that a grandma taking care of her grandchildren is a “privilege”. I told her not to quit and him that she isn’t babysitting which reduces his number of free hours and makes our lifestyle harder so he is angry at me for demanding we pay her what I feel she is owed. My mom probably would do it for free if we wanted but I definitely don’t think it’s fair. She needs to save for retirement and she has bills as well. AITA here?

5
AITA For Not Letting My Mom Come To My Wedding After She Ignored Me My Whole Life?
From Redditor u/Successful-Tank-851:

I (26M) am getting married to my fiancée,(let’s call her Sarah (25F), in a few months, and I’m super excited about it. But there’s one big issue with all the planning—my mom.

A little background: My parents divorced when I was 8, and my mom (let’s call her Layla) remarried pretty quickly after that. She married this guy, Dave, who had two kids of his own. Ever since, it’s like I was no longer a priority in her life. She focused all her attention on Dave and his kids. Like, I’m not exaggerating when I say she treated them way better than me. They’d go on trips, she’d go to all their sport events, and they’d get everything they wanted. Meanwhile, I felt like I was invisible. She didn’t ask about my school, didn’t care about my friends, or even my mental health. I started to feel like I wasn’t even her kid anymore

When I turned 18, I moved out. I thought maybe she’d care and try to stay in touch, but nope—she didn’t. I’d text her once in a while just to check in, and she’d either not respond or say she was busy with Dave and his kids. I figured if she didn’t care, why should I? So, I just stopped trying to reach out.

Fast forward to now. I’m planning my wedding, and out of nowhere, my mom starts texting me like we’re super close. She wants to know all the details, saying how excited she is, and even saying things like, “I can’t wait to see you start this new chapter.” Like… seriously? I haven’t heard from her in years, and now she expects to be front and center for my wedding?

I told her straight up that I didn’t want her there. I said I’m not comfortable with her coming after everything that’s happened, and that if she really wants to have a relationship, we can talk about it after the wedding, but not before. She started crying and saying I’m holding a grudge and that “I’m her son” and “she deserves to be there.” But I don’t know how I’m supposed to just forget the fact that she ignored me my whole childhood in favor of Dave’s kids.

Now, my family is split. Some of them think I’m right and that I shouldn’t just let her show up when she never showed up for me. Others think I should just let it go, and “it’s just one day” and that I should let her come to the wedding to keep the peace.

So… AITA for not letting my mom come to my wedding after everything that happened?

AITA For Not Meeting Up With My Mom After She Missed My Wedding?
From Redditor u/Designer-Anybody8043:

My mom remarried when I was a kid and had another kid, Jack, who is currently 15. I’m 23.

Anyways, I got married a month ago and it was nice but my mom’s family did not attend. I was devastated but my dad’s side and everyone else made up for it.

When my mom finally contacted me (the night after) she told me that Jack had gotten into an accident a couple nights before (he was with an older friend of his who crashed the car). He’s physically fine but was pretty spooked and refused to get into the car but they couldn’t leave him alone because they were worried. Mom said she was going to come by herself or with my step siblings but then there was an issue with the car which was caused by Jack freaking out when they were first getting ready to leave.

She then said she was going to call an uber to get to the wedding but Jack had passed out from the stress so she couldn’t leave because she was terrified something happened to him.

I understand but if I’m being honest, I don’t know if I believe my mom 100%. She sounded pretty apologetic but I’m still upset that no one let me know. Apart from my mom, Jack, and my step dad who might’ve been way too preoccupied, my step siblings are all over 16 years old with phones of their own. Couldn’t they have told me?

My mom asked me if we could meet but I honestly didn’t want to see her in that moment. Though her absence was valid, she’s never at any of my big events because of Jack. It might be pure coincidence but I just didn’t want to see her. I was and am still upset.

My mom was annoyed by this and told me the world doesn’t revolve around me and I have no right to be upset over her not being there now that I know why. I told her that I don’t care, I don’t want to see her. In fact I’m very angry at her. She told me that I’m being selfish and that she won’t be contacting me anymore until I apologize because she cannot handle my childish tantrums on top of everything else.

Idk. I think I should’ve just said okay and met up with her but I’m hurt. She still hasn’t talked to me though and she usually doesn’t go through with her threats. AITA?